Frequently Asked Questions:
What if my partner doesn't want to do coaching?
When we get inspired to nurture our relationship and bring the idea to our partner to try a relationship course, therapy or coaching... it is SO common to be met with a big ol' "NO!"
Ahh. My heart.
This can feel SO discouraging, upsetting and disheartening... It can leave you feeling even more stuck than you did before you brought up the idea ♥ I am sending so much love.
In my personal experience, I've learned that many partners have a narrative that tells them "If we need coaching, you think we are broken... you think something is wrong with us... you think something is wrong with ME and want someone else to fix it... but we aren't broken... we're fine... I'm fine... " and their reaction to the idea is based on this belief.
If you approach your partner with excitement, reassuring them up front that you love them and are SO interested in learning how to love them even better and become even more connected.. If you let your partner know how inspired you feel about nurturing your beautifulllll relationship... This helps to bring a new perspective to seeing a coach.
Imagine going to the gym 5 days a week and working out consistently. You show up. You go through the motions. You're actually pretty good at this! AND, you know there's the potential to get stronger, healthier and learn new things. What do you do? You hire a trainer! And OHHH, look at that! You didn't know that if you just modify this exercise slightly, the results you get are AMPED UP! Or, if you change your posture on that pop squat... HELLO! Booty goals!
Or if you add these new weights to your workout routine...
BOOM!
NEXT LEVEL!
You see where I'm going with this...
RELATIONSHIP COACHING FOR THE WIN! Using an analogy like this one reminds us that we get trainers, teachers, coaches in SO many other areas of life to thrive in whatever that thing is... so why not give your relationship that kind of lovin'?! The quality of our relationships is a direct predictor of our health and happiness. The perfect reason to go ALL IN on your love.
Another common concern that comes up for people is fear of judgment. Shame. Worry.
It's vulnerable to talk to a stranger about your relationship, especially if you're not used to talking feelings. The truth is, we ALL have challenges within our relationships. Coaching is judgment free and I am here to support you in whatever way makes you feel safe. And, I definitely do not take sides. You can talk to your partner about this, again letting them know you aren't looking to find a coach to team up with AGAINST them. That you want to grow together.
If you try this approach and your partner still isn't interested, it's a powerful response if you can thank them for their honesty, NOT shame or guilt them and then let them know that maybe you'll check in with them another time about it ♥ You can book a free discovery call with me if you like and we can chat about your goals and what options are available ♥
Do you work with individuals?
If your partner isn't ready for coaching or you'd prefer to come alone, I absolutely work with individuals in relationships!
When one person gets intentional about prioritizing the relationship and focusses their energy on the right things, incredible shifts happen! This is what I found in my own relationship when I went ALL IN with a Relationship Coach (without my partner!)
If you choose to wait for you partner to get on board with relationship growth or coaching... you might be waiting a long time. And, in my experience, things tend to stay the same *or* get worse. Of course you'd love for them to be totally on board! And - When you change your moves in the relationship dance, your partner inevitably changes along with you. You alone can be the catalyst for change in your relationship. I've seen it time and time again. I will guide you, support you and be with you every step of the way! In my own relationship, it wasn't long after getting a coach solo that my partner started showing interest in relationship growth work just because of the way I'd started showing up in our relationship!
Check out the Services page for more details on the LOVE JOURNEY!! I will create a unique 8 session roadmap that is tailored to your needs and goals to get us started! In working together, you will look at your relationship from a whole new lens. You'll have the tools and the skills to get out of argument cycles and back to connection with your partner. You'll be able to look DEEPER under their reactions and their own. You'll able to bring so much connection back! You'll feel heard, seen, appreciated... It's a beautiful thing.
We'll look at triggers and raw spots, I'll help you get clear on your needs, we'll have massive breakthroughs around issues that have been stuck points in your relationship... and so much more. You'll have support from me between sessions so that you don't feel alone in this journey.
What do we do in a coaching session? Will it really work?
I will guide you, with or without your partner, through different tools to explore what's not working presently in your relationship but, more importantly, we will spend most of our time focused on the solutions. I have over 50 tools to work with and I will help you both express your needs, find out how to meet each other's needs, hear each other in a whole new way and connect on a deeper level. We will breakthrough stuck points in your relationship together! There is a science to relationships and how to make them work effectively. My tools are research based and will really help you shine! Most couples have barely even tapped into the potential in their relationships and don't know the incredible possibilities.
My goal is that you leave every session with a greater understanding, awareness and connection. You will feel HOPEFUL about the future of your relationship.
When couples are working together, I often hear in sessions, "I never knew you felt that way", "I feel like you really get it for the first time ever", "We haven't had a big argument in weeks!"
Something I notice is when I first meet a couple, often there is tension between them.. then even by the second or third session, they pop up on the zoom screen laughing, smiling, sitting close together... feeling connected!
Again, there will be no blaming or shaming, no taking sides.. This is a safe, confidential space and I'm here to support you both in your journey to deeper love and connection. Relationship growth can be so much fun!
Once we start working together and you see the potential of a thriving relationship, it becomes clear why intentional love is so so important. Thriving love = ease, fun, spark, connection and safety. Doesn't that sound dreamy?
IT IS POSSIBLE ♥
Often times, the hardest part is booking the appointment! Bless your heart for being here and committing to your relationship!
How many sessions will we need?
Check out the Services page for more deets on my LOVE JOURNEY PROCESS! Whether you dive into private or group coaching, you'll be committing to an incredible Love Journey!
Coming back week after week means you have the accountability of ME! How often have you and your partner made a plan to do something to help your relationship, like being intentional about taking breaks from arguments... or saying sorry more... or sharing moments of connection before bed... only to do it for a few days, then fall back into the same routines? (I only say it because this was my partner and I before we got support!) Accountability is a huge bonus when it comes to creating new, healthier habits and patterns.
Some of my tools are fundamental and must-haves for every couple! And, depending on your unique needs and desires, I will pull in whatever other tools that align as we go through the journey together. I will check in along the way to make sure I am supporting you in the best way possible!
No matter where you're at in your relationship journey, I will have a roadmap for you and I am sending you so much love.
If you are tired of arguing, lack of repair, negativity.. I got you.
Or if you're feeling stuck in disconnection, like roommates instead of lovers... I got you.
Maybe you're recovering from infidelity and trying to repair, pick up the pieces and save your relationship... I got you.
Are you considering break up or divorce and willing to give it one last try?... I got you.
If you're missing that spark, sexual connection and intimacy... I got you.
Or if you're feeling pretty damn good but wanting to level up your relationship and learn the tools to thrive... I GOT YOU!
To get the very best results, bring your A game!!! Showing up fully with an open mind and heart will work wonders. You will leave each session with "homeplay" (like homework, but fun!). It's incredible how making little changes can transform our day to day lives with our partner. Getting new information is GREAT... AND the magic happens when you put it into practice and create new patterns. I will provide email support between sessions to help you out of sticky situations if they arise!
We barely have enough time in the day to connect with each other, how can we make time for this?
Choosing to add coaching sessions to your busy lives can seem like... a lot. I absolutely understand!
The choice to commit to putting in the time will actually FREE UP so much time in the long run! Through our sessions, your relationship will transform and you'll find soooo much more ease in the day to day when you are feeling connected and inspired. This actually CREATES more time in your life because you'll be spending less and less time and energy feeling disconnected, angry, uninspired, unsupported or waiting for/working on repairing hurts. This new free time creates the space to do more of the things you love.
My availability is very flexible: days, evenings! Setting aside 90 minutes per week is going to free that up that much time and MORE when we start working together.
This seems like a big investment, I don't know how I can afford this?
Life is expensive and seems to be getting even more so as time goes on! I can appreciate that adding another expense feels overwhelming and maybe impossible. Like it's just too much.
What, though, is the cost of not doing anything and staying in the hurt, disconnection or struggle that you're experiencing right now? That cost is so much greater than any sort of financial investment you could put into your relationship.
We can spend thousands of dollars on a vacation... only to go away and argue the whole time! EEPS! Or we can be on said vacay, staring at our partner on the beach... and longing to feel connected.
We spend so much money on things that provide us with fleeting happiness. Your investment into your relationship now will have lasting effects on your life and love. I am 100% certain that the energy, time and money we invested in our relationship is what brought myself and my partner to the place we're at today. From barely surviving to thriving. And, in doing that, our lives have been opened up to so much more fullness, joy and love.
And if you're a couple who doesn't argue, doesn't feel disconnected and just wants to maximize the love... the investment is so so worth it when you see the potential to move into a thriving relationship. IT'S A FEEEEELING ♥
My relationship isn't THAT bad... do I need coaching?
It's super common to look around us and think, "Well, most couples around me spend a lot of time annoyed, arguing or disconnected.. what I'm experiencing is pretty normal" or "I'm not as bad as so and so..."
The truth is, the bar is set pretty low for relationships in the world. If you knew how amazing your relationship could be, if you knew you could have the kind of relationship you really want to experience, wouldn't you want that? I did!
It's not about how bad your relationship is ♥ It's about the potential of how amazing it can be.
Photo: Raymond Ng
